Twilight Alley
In one of the most luxurious metropolia in the world, there is a small community of people tucked away beneath the shadow of tall concrete buildings.
The majority of my childhood was spent traveling and living abroad, so I was never able to experience what it would have been like to live in Thailand as a child. Up until recently, I had always thought Thailand was a bad place to raise children. In some respects, that's true. Growing up here, children are trapped in a big box. As they were taught to keep quiet, not ask questions, and follow orders, outside of the ordinary is not allowed for them. Prior to leaving Thailand, I was always different from the kids at my Thai school. My way of being was not understood, so they cast me out. I was upset by the way they were, I didn't understand them, and I refused to accept them. Despite knowing that growing up in Thailand wouldn't be appropriate for me, my parents decided to send me away, not realizing the lasting effects it would have.
While it was a privilege for me to get out, I found myself getting lost in it. Thus, I was ignorant of my country, my culture, and my people. Regardless of my nationality, I would never introduce myself as Thai. As a result of pretending to be someone else, I became less authentic both in my work and in my personal life. In turn, my friendships and relationships with my family were damaged. For so long, I have been living in the dark.
After moving to Australia, I have lived the life I always dreamed of, but it is not the life I needed. After I finished my degree, I was left drifting in the dark and I didn't know what to do with my life, so I decided to leave. In spite of the fact that leaving Australia was a difficult decision, it was a necessary one. For a while, it was good once I returned to Thailand. I got to spend more time with my family and I finally understand what they were going through. Still, I felt unfulfilled because of the hole in my heart. I decided to travel around the country doing what I do best, capturing moments, to learn about the life I abandoned. For the past few months, I have documented the life of Thai people through my photography. After spending so much time behind a camera, I realize how neglected I have been. After experiencing their pains and joys, I have a better understanding of them.
During my travels, I came across a little community living along Bangkok's oldest trade route, the Saan Saab canal. Houses and alleyways are shadowed by tall concrete buildings. What once was is no longer. Despite living in poverty, the people stay ahead of the ever-moving city of Bangkok. After over a month, I returned because of my fascination with their way of life. They seem to find a way to push themselves out despite the repression this country has given them. For the purpose of living. And those are the things I have been missing, living. After returning thinking I would be able to help them, I realized they were the ones who had helped me in the first place. After reconnecting with the life that I ignored many years ago, I have gained a new perspective on it. The shadow of these alleyways once again forced me to realize that I could not see the light without darkness.
